Most of you think of the new year as a time to make resolutions to do this and that, and that the majority revolves around making physical changes in your life. But what about detoxing your mind of thoughts and feelings that are harmful to you?
Those negative thoughts and toxic emotions that you carry around can actually do as much , if not more harm to your body that the physical assaults and lapses. Why? Simply because you cannot separate the mind from the body for any great length of time.
They work in concert with each other, and likewise are very influential in maintaining health. For example, a person may being eating well, avoiding physical toxins and getting all the exercise he needs, but if he is nursing day in and day out unresolved anger, or another toxic emotion, then he is still harming his body and polluting his mind.
The most toxic emotions and thoughts you can have are chronic anger, resentment, self denigration, shame, negative and limiting feelings about yourself, unresolved quilt, unforgiveness of others, revengeful feelings, and last but not least unforgiveness of self.
Healthy bodies need healthy minds in order to get the best orchestrated health both in spirit and body. Therefore, mental detoxing will ensure that whatever changes you are willing to make to live a healthier lifestyle will provide you with more gain for your efforts.
Our cellular bodies have a sort of universe of their own, that on a biological level will be influenced by our thoughts and feelings over time. Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay have written volumes around this theme and their theories are something that I have witnessed personally.
The various cells in our body are prone to be influenced at any given time to our state of mind. I have noticed with patients and myself that they seem to have their own memory, apart from our own conscious awareness.
Emotional trauma can affect the cells in our brains called neurons, but they can also create physical aberrations and cellular tracings in cells that correspond to the trauma. For example, heartbreak over loss of relationship and love, literally do affect the physical conduction of cardiac cells, which I wrote about in Oct, 2012.
Toxic emotions and mental states will have the same effect of weakening cellular resistance to disease and directly inviting a breakdown in cellular structure. You might not notice it overnight, but months and years of toxic emotions will be destructive to cells.
If I had to choose the most toxic of emotions, it would definitely be chronic anger and resentment. The toxicity affects multiple organs and structures in our body.
A lot of people carry anger in their upper spinal column around the shoulders and neck, producing muscle tension, cricks, and headaches. Sometimes if more associated with grief, it can manifest around the lower spine causing pulled pelvic muscles and chronic lower back aches.
Our cardiovascular system and gastrointestinal system is also very sensitive to internalized anger as both are controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, which is heavily influenced by our emotional states.
Chronic anger can constrict blood vessels, increasing blood pressure with possible atherosclerotic causing properties. I find it can be a trigger in autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis. Chronic GI upsets, increased stomach acid production, and bowel irritability are seen often in those who store anger.
Holding onto anger is just plain poisonous, and will continue to break down body tissues, unless released. Over the years it will become a bitterness that leeks out contouring your facial lines and contaminates your personality.
Walking around with a boat load of self denigrating convictions is like framing yourself as someone who is unworthy. Carrying around constant negative feelings about yourself is actually inflecting an emotional invasion of bad energy that comes from you not others!
Negative self talk will create more negativity, so it becomes a vicious circle. The only cure is to stop feeding yourself a bunch of lies that are as contaminating as the worst sort of bacteria.
If your negativity comes from shame, and or guilt, though they are not the same, then the origin of those feelings needs to be looked into. Shame is more of a feeling that makes us feel bad about ourselves, separating ourselves from others we deem more above our selves morally.
Guilt is the regret and sense of responsibility over our actions or behavior towards another person. Holding ourselves accountable for something we did that disturbs our conscious.
Guilt is a red flag, that healthy people feel, if our behaviour caused another person pain, inflicted harm on others or ourselves. That is not bad in itself, but unresolved guilt is likewise very destructive.
Making amends to the person harmed through sincere apologies, if possible, is a wonderful way to release yourself from this heavy burden and start anew. It is actually one of the few feelings that we can actually directly control removing from our psyche by acknowledging our wrong, making apologies or amends, and asking their forgiveness.
Doing this is an important step in all 12 step recovery programs because of its cleansing affect. It is an essential precursor in order to cross the bridge towards self forgiveness
Forgiving others who have hurt or abused you physically and emotionally can be really tough for a lot of people to do. By remaining unforgiving, you are tying an umbilical cord to the abusive act committed by another.
Forgiveness is a gift to you. It is a choice of freedom. It frees you from the poison of unforgiveness. By doing so, you are also releasing that other person to the universal laws of justice, that some call karma, which are indeed much more harsh than whatever you could devise.
Cleansing yourself of these toxic emotions requires commitment as much as you would give to going to the gym for example. Those with chronic anger should seek professional help to understand why they have become so filled with anger in the first place and why they use anger as their modus operandi.
Others can use cleansing mantras, that may need to be repeated as often as needed to bring a sense of clearing. It is best if you are alone, and picture the person who harmed you.
My favourite and the most affective, is to say: I pray the part of you that hurt me heals. I send you love. You can personify the “hurt” to whatever harm was committed.
This works on a spiritual level, and I find saying this starts the cleansing process immediately. The result for me is a sense of calming solace and distancing from the harmful act.
Cleansing rituals for those with negative self thoughts can either be mental or using candles. I teach patients who are prone to attack themselves to immediately catch themselves and say: Stop! I am sorry (your name) that I harmed you with untrue words. I love you with kind words only.
Using a green or white candle. Light the candle with these words; I light this candle to release you (your name) of all negative harmful thoughts. (your name), you are pure love.
Besides the afore mentioned precursors of dealing with guilt, specifically addressing the wrongs to the offended one, a guided meditation is helpful in removing the left over residues of guilt.
For those who follow certain religious traditions; prayers of forgiveness, seeking pastoral care and sacramental rituals can bring about the unburdening of guilt. For others, one can use ritualistic washings with blessed waters and anointing with healing oils to pave the way towards self forgiveness.
Giving yourself healthy nourishing foods, avoiding physical toxins and toxic people, getting out in nature and excersizing those marvellous muscles you have by walking or whatever are basic, but not enough. Practicing self care and love, forgiveness of self and others, and releasing anger when it comes will all enable you to fully thrive towards health.
Mental detoxing assures that you have restored yourself psychically, spiritually, and mentally, that allows your physical body to have optimal functioning. By doing this, you are giving each cell in your body the best ability to resist inherited tendencies and offset illness.
Thanks. Cherry.
I know this is something we all need to do; and I will follow your very wise advice.
Hugs and xoxoxo, KK
Thank you for your pertinent comment KK. It can be a struggle for some to rid themselves daily of harmful thought patterns and emotions. One must be mindful and nip any harmful toxic thoughts and feelings in the bud, especially anger before it takes precedence. Hugs to you too!
Your blog reminds me of things like the Serenity prayer, and the old saying about how “the best revenge is to simply live a good, properous, and happy life. Like most people our age, I’m sure that I’ve had my share of aggravations and frustrations; and the reality is that nothing good really comes from dwelling on bad experiences or situations, certainly not commensurate with the negative impact of it all. It crtainly is not easy to learn to deal with such matters; it requires a mindset and practice of how to best deal with such matters by focusing on the good aspects and potentials of life, both personally and in business, and minimizing whatever has to be done in regard to the negative aspects and situations. One simply has to decide the priorities for their life . . . to concentrate on developing the good aspects and potentials for our lives or to be destracted by wasting time (and efforts) dwelling on things that should be best set aside.
The only “value” of the negative experiences and situations is in the tempering of our awareness of the potential situations, and how to best handle such things when they arise. As is said: “The tempering (of metals) is in the fire (and our experiences)”. The point and objective is to learn from bad experiences and situations in the past in order to not repeat such experiences . . . and not to wasteany portion of our lives by dwelling on negative issues. The Serenity prayer expresses it all rather succiently. We are all capable of being the “masters of our lives” a lot more than we realize . . . but it requires practiced effort to achieve anything worthwhile, huh?
David, thank you for your very insightful and detailed comment! I could not have said it any better! Your last paragraph reflected some alchemical philosophy regarding tempering metals, aka our souls, in fire, in order to rend them more pure. We are all thrust upon trial and tribulations that in the end render us of the superficiality of societal goals.
Pruned to the core, we are redirected more to the truths that exists in our individual paths. Priorities are essential to tune into changes that are possible , and as you said the discernment to leave those outside of our control to God.
A long time ago, in far, far away place, I was involved in Gestalt therapy. One day while waiting for a session I read a cartoon on the wall – a single frame, but filled with a Where’s Wally/Waldo story that you really had to study to get meaning out of it. In one corner was a figure that asked another:
“Are you a human has-been, or human will-be, or are you a human being?”
I have remembered that cartoon ditty through all the years as a pointer to living in the moment – don’t fret over the past or Russell Grant’s theory of your future – deal with what you have.
When I first woke up in hospital there was a lot of “woe-is-me” I went through when I realised what the stroke had done to me and what was left for me to work with. It was that uphill struggle that probably kept me from the dark side – too much to think about in the “now”.
In writing a blog (http://redoable.co.uk) I am aware of dipping into the past, but I assure you it’s to underline a point, or signpost to where my mind was at the time, or to fill in the blanks about me.
Just about everything I have read about strokes, including blogs, is sugar coated.
Every one performs to their saccharine best, the hospital, medical staff, recovery “teams” and the person having a stroke (bless ‘em) during this brain attack incident. It’s like an American made for TV movie.
I’ve tried to show that all is not roses, that there are thorns too.
Thank you Louis for your painful reminder that when we are ill, we come to a complete stop and are forced to dealing with whatever our illness throws our way.
Your blog is a real window into the everyday struggles you put up with; written with humour and determination to expose the challenges you have overcome and the ones you are still battling. In reading, one is reminded that our health should never be taken for granted and that stroke prevention efforts are easier to implement than the aftermath.