It’s that time of year again when a lot of you are thinking about making New Year’s resolutions and hoping that you can construct a better year than the one you left behind, but what about being a New Year’s blessing to others?
Being a blessing to other people is guaranteed to give you more wonderful feelings than any self directed resolutions such as losing weight or going to the gym, etc.
I am not much for making these type of resolutions anyway, because most of the time they just end up haunting you with guilt for not doing them in the first place.
Self care and self love are certainly important, but should be continuously woven into your own life throughout the year, not all of a sudden launched full throttle in January and forgotten by March.
What really matters in life is not how physically perfected you are, but how you make other people feel about themselves.
So instead of being only focused on polishing up your physical self and image , why not try to be more committed to doing something for others.
The rewards will be greater immediately and certainly in the long run as well. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering nor costly either. Sure, you can decide to carry around more change to drop in a homeless person’s cup or be more generous with your charities.
Au contraire, actually it is the little things you can do to put a smile on someone’s face and bring a little unexpected pleasure and joy. Blessings come in many forms, and can be delivered in many ways, some hidden in prayer.
Generosity begins in the heart, which is all well and good, but it needs to be acted upon to have an impact. I know I am certainly guilty for example, of putting aside calling someone for various sundry reasons, and then often not following through.
With family and friends who live afar, especially those living alone, you might choose to be more committed to contacting them via calls, emails, or texts, even though you may share and comment on their Facebook posts.
Facebook has its merits and makes it super easy to wish someone happy birthday, but with close friends it should not be enough. Besides, there are always the rest of the story behind those posts, that most of us would love to hear as well.
You might strive to be more complimentary with your spouse, friends and children. What about a sincere compliment to a colleague at work, and yes even to your boss!
Hugs go a long way and are a terrific extension of yourself to show somebody else you care about them. Out of the blue declarations of affection, such as I love you; catching a loved one or dear friend off guard, will make memories forever.
So many times I have heard patients say they don’t verbalize such simple words of affection, preferring to believe instead that family “know I love them”. Depriving a love one of those spoken words is downright selfish and hurtful.
Again, I know we all have our daily routines and obligations that can easily submerge us, or distract us so that we might forget to think of others. If you have time on your hands, you might want to consider volunteering for a good cause in your community.
Living in a big city like Paris, where you are constantly running into the populace as soon as you step out your door is a daily reminder that you and I are just but a grain of sand in the vast pool of humanity.
That constant engulfment can be an annoyance at times, but sometimes can be an opportunity to reflect upon and connect with what we all share with each other; precisely our humanness.
At any given time, day or night, there are millions of others with your same needs, your same longings, your same pain, your same worries and concerns about themselves, their children and families.
There is nothing like being confined to a finite space of a bus, or metro car to take the time to observe the faces of others and wonder about their lives, who like myself, can often be lost in their own clouds.
These rather very ordinary times can be for me a special time to offer my heart to heart “blessings”. It is a powerful way to connect with strangers that you will probably never see again but want to share whatever positive thoughts you have.
It is as easy as pie, and requires no expenditures of energy, just some conscious thought and sincere empathy for them all, caught in this vortex of life. I generally start with the people seating or standing next to me and work around the crowd one by one.
Eye contact is not at all necessary, as that might make some very uncomfortable, except babies, who love to gaze back at you. You can simply stare in their direction, catching a part of their clothing. I visualize their hearts and send each one of them a blessing.
Most of the time, I say with silent words: “I send you love”. If I feel for whatever reason there is something else they are in need of, I will include that too.
You don’t have to take public transport either to spread your heart blessings amongst others. You can do in at office meetings, at church, or even driving around, where you will have ample opportunity to spot folks and bless them in the same way.
Doing this, something magically happens to me; as if for a very short time, we are no longer strangers, nor separated, but one in our humanness. In truth we are, however individually different our bodies and emotional makeup may be.
Sometimes depression, grief, anxiety and worries can overwhelm us to the point we retreat into ourselves and have little energy for outreaching others. That is ok and understandable, so please know that I am not trying to lay a guilt trip on you if are currently hurting.
However, I have found at these times when I was caught up in my own suffering as I am with my grief, that realizing you are not the only person on planet earth with the same pain can be beneficial.
With that realization, you can actually bring some good feelings to yourself by praying for all the other people, who are hurting or grieving like you. In that way, you do not tax your energy at all, but are being generous with your prayers and thoughts for others suffering like you.
In the end of things, remember there won’t be any applause or pundits for polishing up a sleek image, by shedding those few extra pounds that hardly anybody is going to notice. What really matters is what you give or do for others that helps them feel a bit more love and joy!
Be a New Year’s Blessing!
Hugs, Blessings and Love to all.
Updated post, Jan 2, 2018