Maybe you have been pumped up to rush out into the New Year like a snorting bull roaring and bucking to break out of the rodeo gate of the New Year, hell-bent on shoving yourself into your New Year Resolutions.
Some of you already know that I am not a big fan of New Year resolutions. Why? First of all, there is nothing magical or mystical about changing numbers of a calendar!
The moon and the stars are not going to all of the sudden start twinkling like the Eiffel Tower for the New Year and neither will you!
How you have been living this past year is probably how you are going to continue to live. Tweaking who you are is a lot easier to accomplish changes than biting off some New Year Resolutions.
I hate to break it to you, but you can’t just reinvent who you, any more than you can reinvent the wheel. Nor do you have too!
Blown out of proportions New Year Resolutions have a built-in failure flaw. Why, Because they are too drastic and too packaged as Shoulds and Ought to’s!
You see, you really don’t like to be forced into changing something in your life just because it would be good for you!
How many of you have done something solely because you have been told it is good for you? I already know the answer: very little of you.
None of you as adults are walking around willing to be told what to do. OK, you put up with a few instructions from your boss or maybe your spouse to either keep your job or keep the peace!
But inside of you, there is this little rebel kid that says “Whoa!” “I am my own man/woman, and it’s my life!”
Well, you need to respect that stubborn kid! I hate to tell you that in the end, that little rebel wins the game, because he/she holds the cards to a large part of your psyche.
You see, the little rebel has his own timing to get things done, Not you. Plus, you can’t bully him around! Believe or not he might have more innate wisdom than your ego!
He/she reflects more of the real you than your ego and persona. Your ego can be too easily influenced by your fears, your situation, and other people’s expectations of you.
You might have sadly developed a persona that does not even represent the real you.
If you are going to deal with him, you have to go slowly, my friend. No coercing allowed! Since he more or less rules the roost, you have to be willing to listen to him.
Negotiating with him in slow increments of change will be a lot easier for him to swallow than trying to shove the whole package idea down his throat!
First and foremost, that adorable little rebel has got to want change. He/she has to attach some sort of value to that change. Better yet, he has to feel hungry enough to want that change!
Instead of forcing down New Year Resolutions, like a military sergeant, tweak those desired goals into baby steps that you can assimilate in your own time.
Remember, you are not in competition with anybody, not even yourself. You don’t have to guzzle down a huge glass of resolutions in one gulp.
Think of siping that goal slowly into your life. Keep the goals on the front shelf of your thoughts and in the following first months of the “new year”, keep going back to them as a reminder.
Allow them to percolate into occupying increased shelf space in your thoughts. Have you been thinking about devoting more time to your hobbies, taking up some new ones, increasing healthy habits, travelling, or some other new adventures?
You must have had a myriad of thoughts and desires in the past year that never took off. Let me give you an example from my own life.
For the last two years, I have wanted to go back to weight training. I had been aware that my upper body strength wasn’t what it used to be for several years and I knew what I could do to restore it.
Knowing what to do about something isn’t the same as implementing it, at least not with me. I am not impulsive, but a careful decider. I take my time, too much I think.
I had to let my desire of getting back to strength training brew a while. I also would from time to time focus on remembering how good my body felt with stronger muscles. I remembered how proud I was of myself.
I just kept reminding myself of it. Each time I needed help to spring open my garage door with upper arm thrusts, I knew what I could do to fix my problem.
In April of last year, I saw a promotion at a gym near me. That was my sign to go for it and I did. I have recuperated not only my strength but those inherent positive feelings. I feel proud each time I come home from weights and cardio.
Praising yourself for efforts accomplished is reinforcing to the little rebel, who now literally looks forward to going regardless of rain, snow or sleet.
Now it is my little rebel who won’t accept any excuses. He is not negotiable! Twice a week I have religiously kept to working out.
I am still me, except my muscles have grown back their strength-giving fibres! I once again bask in the positive feelings of accomplishment.
More than likely you too have accomplished somethings, however small, in the past you can feel proud of. Keep those positive feelings alive, go back to them from time to time.
You can recapture them by taking baby steps towards your new idea, aka New Year Resolution. See yourself doing your new projects. Keep those visions alive in your thoughts!
Even if you haven’t, it’s no big deal! There is still plenty of time to start in 2020!