I know seasonal affective disorder very well not only in my practice , but I personally have suffered from it for many years.
By October the 15 th, I am aware of subtle changes in my mood and level of energy. The onset of symptoms is indeed insidious as it is caused by the diminishing light in fall as a prelude to winter.
For some, the autumn is a time for cooler temperatures and feels invigorating for those with very hot summers. Others look forward to the next two months with excitement and are already planning on Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities.
Unfortunately, I am not one of them. It is if something is starting to drain from me and I feel it. Most of the time, I just accept that this is not my best season, plunge forth anyway and let it go at that.
Muddling through is not so bad . Afterall, Paris is chock full of festivals and events in the fall months that I do really enjoy going to or look forward to. At least my seasonal dip hasn’t robbed me of wanting to get out and about; it just makes it harder.
Lords knows, if you read my blog, I try to hit just about every festival that I find interesting! Without them, I think that I would dive quicker and deeper into depression for sure.
At times I feel downright silly even whining about it all. I certainly wish my neurons would just shape up and be normal! Although I have accepted that my neurons are more susceptible to seasonal changes and stressors than other humans, it does get old.
On the other side of the coin, I am grateful that I don’t have to battle something worse. There are certainly much worse mental illnesses than this or my low grade dysthymia.
Complicating matters, at least for me, is that October harbors some past stressful events of grief and loss in my life. My brain certainly remembers and those painful memories are indeed associated with seasonal changes that I suspect acts as triggers.
Again, I am not alone in any of this, as many of my patients approach certain seasons with associative difficult events in their lives too. One of them can’t stand seeing the approaching autumnal light changes even perceived in late august, and finds chrysanthemums, the ultimate autumn flower, as being a sore reminder of a painful separation.
Here in France, chrysanthemums are not only associated with fall but death, as they are the flower one places on graves November first to commemorate the day of the dead. It is also the main reason that you should never offer anybody chrysanthemums here, as it carries this sad token.
If my neurotransmitters have already been on the blink because of recent stressors, health problems, family concerns and such, then I generally have to brace for this seasonal depression to be worse than in other years. They are all variable in severity.
I can delay or offset symptoms if I have been able to get in a lot of late summer, or early direct autumn sunlight, by traveling south or even in Baltic sea areas still flooding with summer sunlight.
If not, then my down moods become not only more evident to me , but obviously to others too, who see me on a regular basis. I remember one late fall evening several years ago waiting for the rest of my patients to arrive for a psychotherapy group I conducted weekly, when one of my patients said he had noticed I was not smiling and laughing as much as before.
Yes, tis the season when the days are getting progressively shorter and the nights longer. This will continue to get worse till the winter solstice around December the 21. Humans beings have a pineal gland which is photosensitive, a mammalian remnant. For some mammals, like squirrels and bears, the pineal gland ensures their very survival by causing them to fatten up and store food, and have a thicker coat for winter.
Melatonin is the pertinent hormone here and the varying levels are the chief regulators of our circadian rhythm. When bright sunlight hits the back of the eye’s retina , it travels via a nerve tract to the pineal gland. The pineal gland when stimulated will inhibit production of melatonin as a result.
Conversely, when fall approaches and there is less sunlight, the pineal gland will allow much more melatonin to be produced. Those of us who are sensitive to these subtle changes will notice that our mood and energy changes as well.
Melatonin could be called the hormone of darkness and causes us to become drowsy and want to sleep. By early evening as the light goes down we start to produce melatonin, a phase called dim light melatonin onset. It peaks around 2 to 3 am in adults but can have earlier onset as we get older.
Seasonal affective disorder or SAD, affects more people in countries and locales in the northern hemisphere, especially in Scandinavia, except mysteriously in Iceland and even Icelandic immigrants in Canada. It is thought that they may have a genetic component that is protective, but why has not this happened with other Scandinavian populations?
The symptoms of SAD mimic dysthymia in that it is a low-grade depression, with decreased mood and energy, but with generally an increased appetite, especially for carbohydrates, which can result in weight gain. There is also more drowsiness and sluggishness during the days and a tendency towards over sleeping. Diminished concentration and loss of interest usually are accompanied by social withdrawal. SAD is more common in women than men.
Phototherapy or light box therapy has been proven effective in relieving the severity of the symptoms. I have been tempted to buy one for me, but instead try to get out as much as I can in whatever sunshine is available, which is not much in gay but gray Paris. But it is also the full spectrum of sun as in summer that makes a difference. Light therapy boxes, which have 10,000 Lux of white light, recreate this spectrum and are used for 30 minutes to an hour in the morning.
Another treatment that so far seems somewhat effective is negative ionization treatment. These negative ion generators are very expensive though. Negative ions are created just before a storm and the air around seacoasts and waterfalls are saturated with them. Perhaps that is why I crave the ocean air and always feel reenergize when walking along the beach.
Antidepressants can also be used when the symptoms become more severe, which can happen in individuals who have a genetic tendency towards major depression. Sometimes I just ride it out and let it be, accepting that it is just part of my natural being in response to nature.
I have always felt that we really have only discovered the very tip of the iceberg to how sensitive human beings are to the ravages and changes of the planets, sun, and moon of our universe. I have always been aware for example that either fall or the spring often brings on mood changes and instability in my bipolar patients, even those who have been quite stable on medications.
Man has an arrogant tendency to think they are beyond the control of the physical nature of the universe, yet human beings are small specks of whirling energy fields in the schema of the vast universe. In that mode of thought, I prefer to head south anytime I can to sunny seacoasts to soak up as much sunshine and negative ions as I can during the dreary fall and winter.
I am always amazed how Scandinavians or those living in the Baltic countries, or above the arctic circle survive months with so little or zero sunlight! Seeing the Aurora Borealis might be some consolation, but when you have 60 or so polar nights(no direct sun) it must be difficult!
From what I have read, they take a lot of cod liver oil everyday(vitamin D), use light boxes, light a lot of candles, and most important get outside as much as they can. The snow is very reflective of whatever indirect light they have and some villages even use reflective mirrors if they are tucked between mountains.
I take Vitamin D a lot, eat by candlelight every night, and am fairly good about pushing myself to get out regardless of the weather. It does not snow much in Paris, but at least we have lots on nighttime artificial illumination, perhaps too much that shines in my curtainless bedroom windows at night.
I find myself looking at luminotherapy boxes again, trying to decide which one to buy. I think that will be my next weapon, besides trying to adopt a new winter mindset!
At least it never keeps me from making my sunday pastry confections, which do bring me joy. So voila; my delicious interpretation of a famous Greek walnut cake, karithopita. Chopped kumquats add that lovely orangey twang to this flourless cake and I cut down drastically the sugar, both in the batter and for the lemon syrup!
Tis better to light as many candles as you can, rather than to curse the darkness! My new mantra.
Addendum: Maybe by next year, I will have enough evidence to report back how it worked for me. As this is an updated version of another post published in 2012, I ironically saw that it was published on Oct the 19 th too! This seasonal depression dip clicks in like clockwork, at least for me! If you are a fellow SAD sufferer, how do you cope?
Very good reading…I stay depressed so much anymore i can’t tell which is causing my problem, but i do know it is worst around nov and dec. oddly, i love the fall of the year. but i do not like the darkness. I too wish i could get the lightbox too..i would really like to see if it would help me..thank you for sharing your story ..please keep them coming, i do enjoy them so much..Love,becky
Thank you Becky for your kind comments! Most people who already suffer from depression will have a hard time in the darker winter days. Getting out of house and seeking direct sunshine is the best and cheapest way to fight the winter blues. Walking around outside everyday is like a vitamin for me, and if I don’t I feel deprived with less energy. Love and Hugs to you.
I saw those lightboxes at Nature & Découvertes yesterday in the Carousel de Louvre. I’ve always wondered if they worked. I find having other things to focus on helps me to not think about the weather so much. Hugs
Thank you Jennifer! You are so right about focusing on any event or activity that you find interesting or brings you joy. We have to do it daily! SAD just makes it more difficult to get motivated in my daily search, because of the lost of energy. The lightboxes do work I hear, I just have to decide to purchase one and of course use it daily! Hugs
My Dear Dear Cherry,
thank you for being out there and sharing your thoughts and love with us! It is always so soothing reading your posts like getting a full spoon of jam,
THANK YOU!
Thank you Katerina for your very kind words and encouragement! By the way, the karithopita recipe came from the Cretan cookbook you gave me, which I love! I just reduced the sugar a lot, and really liked the added kumquats. I need some more Greek sunshine soon! Lucky you to live by the sea! Hugs
Cherry, your blog article was somewhat timely for the season. The change in the season suddenly became noticeable in south Florida this last week or so . . . your articles was a little “wryly ‘humous'”, (if one can use such words in regard to something like depression).
I have been fortunate in life to only have had ONE experience with something akin to “depression”; and it seemed to be related to the “change in season”.
(Now don’t laugh) it seemed to start when I walked out to the street side mail box, and I was struck by the shadows of the neighbor’s tree “being in the wrong place” (Ha!) Our fall season was just setting in; it just suddenly seemed like the shadows of the trees were in the wrong position than from where I had previously noticed them to be. It was weird,and it even seemed weird to me to notice or to be bothered by something like that. But it turned out to be a memorable “trigger point” and bench mark for it all.
The same thing occurred the next couple of days, feeling that “something was “off””. My mornings would start off “normal”, and then I would experience the apparent escalating PHYSICAL symptoms and sensations of some tpe of “anxiety” . . . . however, everything was fine in life; and I really didn’t have anything to be anxious about that I knew of. A weird aspect of it all was that when my wife got home from work, everything would seem to fade back to “almost normal” (Ha!). It all progressively escalated somewhat day by day for weeks and then a month or so. It was increasingly difficult to focus to get things accomplished; but I plodded on through it.
Even though I was “steeled” and prepared to evade it all, every day would be a relay (sort of like with the dramatic music from the movie “Jaws” playing in the background of my mind). This went on daily until it finally just faded away after almost two or three months.
At its worst, I could see how anyone who was doomed to a lifetime of such intense escalating feelings could reach a critical point and decision to “opt out of it all”. I could never figure out the cause of any of this OTHER than possibly biological changes in my aging body, potential chemical/hormonal imbalances creating such symptoms; but that didn’t explain how it would settle out in the evenings.
I’ve been fortunate to never have had any other episode of such an experience or any other type of depression. However, it DID give me an appreciation of what some people have to deal with in their lives. One has to experience and fight or struggle through something like that to truly understand and appreciate what some people have to endure. It was an eye opener for sure. I’ve never had much patience for “moody people”; but now I try to be a little more understanding and tolerant sometimes.
When it all occurred, I NEVER told my wife about it; and managed to sort of “fake my way through the evenings” for three months. I didn’t tell her about it until a year or so later . . . I wanted to make sure that it had fully gone away . . . . of course she was very annoyed that I didn’t tell her about it though. We still joke about the potential for the “changes in season” every year though.
I can somewhat appreciate the ‘SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER”, my experience seemed to be connected to the change in the season . . . . weird, to say the least.
Being a macho guy, I didn’t see a doctor or take any type of meds . . . most meds have potentially worse side effects than the ailments they are intended to treat. I was just lucky that it all finally dissipated. My brother-in-law who died a year ago suffered from an extreme case of “unexplainable anxiety” for several years before his death; that is a horrible way for anyone to live their life. .
With our generation being in the ‘third-third” of life, no one knows how many more years of “quality of life” each may have . . . one year or twenty years, it is just important to live life to the fullest every day . . . eat well, exercise, and get adequate sleep daily. There are just too many people “living lives of quiet desperation” and being too inhibited to enjoy life to the fullest (without being excessively nuts).
Cherry, you seem to be a terrific example of trying to live your life to the fullest level.; and yet you have to deal with your share of things at the same time. That should be inspiring to others. The third-third of life is the last opportunity to enjoy life to the fullest that one can.
Thank you David for sharing your experience. It demonstrated the subtility that seasonal changes can affect in us, even in someone who is blessed with healthier neurons, not given to inherited tendencies of depression nor anxiety. A lot of folks have no problems in believing in astrology where planetary influences are always changing certain possible aspect of our daily lives, but not when it comes to the physicality of neuronal changes due to gravity, or light spectrums and intensity of photons.
This phenomena has been documented in increased hospital admissions of bipolar patients. Psychiatric symptoms are derived from neuronal pathology brought on by inherited tendencies, drugs, physical diseases, hormonal imbalance, trauma, environmental stressors, along with lunar and planetary changes. Personalities are more formed by early parental relationships, peer and societal influences and even some inherited tendencies.
How any of us deal with the above is a major daily challenge, more for some than others. Life has painful or unjustful realities that are sometimes out of our control. Developing meaning and purpose in your lives, implementing kindness and empathy towards others, bearing responsibility for your lives, and striving to finding and sharing love, joy and helpful knowledge with others helps in having a fruitful life.
Cherry,
In retrospect, I guess that my reason for posting about my experience was somewhat to make the point that even those who do not suffer from chronic types of depression may have a dramatic experience with something like that. My experience was almost 23 years ago (but I remember it well . . . Ha!); and fortunately there has never been a repeat of such an episode . . . however, it was REALLY a rather weird experience to say the least, esp. for something that lasted for almost two or three months. The lesson in it all is that people just need to try to work their way through it all. You have obviously found your ways of attempting to deal with it all; but then you are a professional in psychoanalyst. Hopefully that provides inspiration to others who might suffer from various types of depression.
I rather amazes me that my wife, June, tends to go into a rather gloomy mood when it is overcast in south Florida. Gosh, I tend to appreciate partly cloudy days; it seems nice to me to get a break from the intense sun light. So many of these things seem to be a matter of personal perception and mind set.
As is said, “the tempering of metals and steel (and life) depends on the the heat of the fire” . After experiencing three years of rather arduous life on a Navy destroyer ship during war time conditions . . . extremely cramped living conditions, poor sea rations, arduous long working conditions, riding out 3 or 4 typhoons, or more a year, then going through a bad marriage for over a decade, and a bad divorce. . . . and then starting life over again from scratch at the age of 35, most of life’s “challenges seem to be rather minor, at the worst. Ha! Everything is rather relative to one’s expectations of life.
To me, there is a big difference between those who have some type of biological chemical or hormonal based depression VERSUS those whose depression is base upon their expectations and desire for differences in their lives. Our lives are basically what we make of it all in any ways. It seems to me that many people’s “problems” are a conflict between what they desire versus what they are willing to work or strive for.
To me, it is extremely admirable that you address these issues in your blog articles; and you presenta a terrific example of trying to deal with these issues . . . and you share that with others.
At this point in life I really don’t worry about what others might think about my comments . . . none of that is going to impact my life. In this third-third of our lives people have an awfully lot to contend with . . . .medical, psychological, and economic “challenges”. It is foolish for anyone who has good health and is comfortable economically to not try to maximize their enjoyment of life. And for those who do have various problems, the “challenge’ is to enjoy life to the maximum. in spite of it all.
In the third-third of our lives who REALLY cares about the one-upsmanship of social or financial “status” ? The only thing that counts is our enjoyment of life in the third-third of life. Once one goes into a nursing home, the quality of life is basically OVER . . . . one can have an enormous financial fortune and it is meaningless once they go into a nursing home. So, my point is for people to forget about all of the social and financial status competitiveness of their younger years and to just enjoy personal relationships for whatever they may be.
June and I have a relatively modest life style; but that suits us. We are financially comfortable so we don’t have any financial problems (at least unless the government crashes the value of the dollar . . ha!), The point to me is that in the third-third of life people need to chill out and to just try to enjoy life on a basic level . . . person to person. No one else really cares about your life,not really. So it is up to the individual to create the quality of their lives. by forgetting about the “pretensions of life”. that are really meaningless in the overall scheme of things.
I do admire that Cherry shares so much with others; that is a “gift” that many may not appreciate fully for what it implies and conveys. The reality is that Cherry was an attractive classmate whom I never really had any close relationship or acquaintance with; but our “connection” is that we were-distant childhood classmates. That is our only “bond”‘; but it is enough to give us a basis for discourse in our third-third of life.
I guess that my point to it all is that, after having lost all of my family and many relatives and friends at this point in life, I just feel the compulsion to say to others to “not waste the opportunities of the third third of their lives” . . . damn it , go out an enjoy third-third of life BEFORE it passes you by.
I loved my sister very much; but she was so inhibited by “the old ways and conventions” that she wouldn’t go out of her house to get her mail or go to the store unless her hair and makeup was “done'” . . . Ha! She wouldn’t admit to it; but she was obviously concerned about “what others might thin” . . . appearance was everything to her. What a waste . . . . in the end, who really cared, or remembered, anything about any of his.
My advice for the third-third of life is to forget about all of the constraint and inhibitions s of our younger lives and just do whatever it takes to enjoy the third-third of your life . . . . .no one else really gives a damn and it certainly is not meaningful to your life. Just cast all of the old inhibitions aside and enjoy life, person to person; that is all that really counts at this point in life.
“Life is a bitch, and then you die or go into a nursing home)” that is a reality of it all, especially in the third-third of life. Some may think that my comments are a little crazy; but if it helps a couple of people think about their lives, then I am satisfied. Those who have biological chemical or hormonal problems are one thing; but hose who are just inhibited in their life styles is something that can be altered fairly easy. It is sort of like the old question as to whether “the glass is half full or half empty”. people consciously decide how they want to or do approach life. The third-third f life is the last go-around; people should not waste it. The only things that count are on a “personal level,” person to person. In the third-third of life, why would anyone be concerned about what others might think about their lives? Now is the time to think about the positive aspects of YOUR life . . . . forget about the old inhibitions of life and just make the most of your life . . . otherwise no one else really cares, do they?
While my previous comments may seem to be a little crazy to a few people, that doesn’t really bother me personally. If I can help a couple of people to think about ad to evaluate their lives, then I would find that to have been worthwhile. The third-third of life appears to have its own set of rather unique “challenges”. One needs to “forget the past” and concentrate on the present . Forget about the negative of getting older s and concentrate on what you enjoy in the future. Once one goes into a nursing home or dies, none of it really matters, huh? . . . . and extremely few of us can actually expect to live a full life into our 90s; that is a given.
So, “wake up and smell the roses” . . . . and enjoy lie while you can. You need to cast off the old “inhibitions:” and enjoy life to the fullest. If you have a psychological phobia, learn to deal with it., or realize that it will diminish the quality of your life. The third-third of life has a lot of stark realities . . . . one needs to recognize that or suffer the consequences.
I rather vividly recalling my mother, who lived to the age of 92 y/o, mentioning that all of her relatives, friends, and acquaintance had died. That is a rather sobering reality of getting older and living a long life.. . . and I am basically at the same point. With our generation being at the outset of the third-third stage of our life, we need to appreciate the importance of living our lives to the fullest possible extent. Our children are caught up in the flow of their lives, and the stage of their lives. The BIG QUESTION is “what do We do with our lives at this point. We can become mired in the negative aspects of our medical or psychotically problems or we can persevere on with the positive aspects of our lives. Why wouldn’t anyone want to live their life to the fullest extent?
So, I challenge anyone to think about how they are living their life in the third-third of life, and to maximize their enjoyment of life. When you die or go into a nursing home it all becomes totally immaterial.
So, if you have some type of phobia or some form o depression, I would encourage you to overcome it. What are you doing with your life compared with what you would like to do?It is simply a matter of what you CHOSE to do with it. I am certainly far from perfect on it all; but I do work on it every day. There is an undeniable end to the third-third of life; no one can escape that.
My comment is intended for everyone to evaluate their lives and to adjust to the realities of the third-third of life. The days of old social ad financial competitiveness are GONE. It is time for people to find the joy and pleasure in the personal relationships that they have, or may have, in the third third of their lives.
I guess that what emphasizes all of this to me is the death f all of my family members, my relatives, and acquaintances at this point in my life. It seems to me that too many of the wasted a lot of the third-third of their lives with considerations of what others may have thought about their lives . . . that is all a moot point once one has died, huh? I thin that people should live the ‘third-third of their lives to maximize their enjoyment o life without regard to what others might think. Forget your phobias and your psychological basis of various forms of “depression”. Just learn to live life to the fullest in spite of it all. . The statistics are the AVERAGE LIFE Expectancy for men is 76 Y/O. (I do not care to live with dementia or ALZHEIMER disease. So statically, I’ve have maybe seven years of” quality life”.
The “bottom line” is for people to learn t enjoy their lives s thy can do . . . . What more e cna there possibly be t ay of this?
CHERRY THANKS for WRITING this S.A.D. blog. I hate that the days are getting shorter.
I love the fall colors in the trees and also I celebrate my birthday this month. We are leving in the morning to go to the Ozar mt. to just get away from it all.
Since I don’t work outdoors any moore for the last three years I am apparently affected also by Sad and now compounded by this ” Chemical soup “of pills I’m taking and I’m sick of this TINNITUS.AND leg problem, Well its time to get away.
At the Store we already have our CHRISTMAS decorations out at the same time as hollowee.
It seems to be a happy time at the store. And I act the part so well as smitty.
As my energy level drops my need for Caffeine increase. It keeps me going to play the part OF THE ALWAYS HAPPY smitty.
ROBIN has no problem with this and go ninty to nothing year round with out caffeine.
I never knew you were affected by Sad I always thought that you was the HAPPIEST person I ever met.
I belive the first time I met you some thirty plus years ago it was in October when I was in a dark time ,I thought I was at my end. YOU were my happy ray of SUNSHINE. And still are!
You mentioned candlelight as a source of light. that helps ?
We still have the candelabra That you gave us when I got married. We use it on special occasion, maybe we should use it more.
SPRING WILL BE HERE BEFORE WE KNOWIT!!!!
YOUR WALNUT, KUMQUAT CAKE LOOKS LIKE A WINNER! !
I am so happy you and Robin are going to the mountains! It must be beautiful there at this time of the year, with all the colours. Getting away is important for our mental health and wellbeing, so keep going anywhere that brings you joy Isham.
I can’t stand to eat dinner under any artificial light, so for as long as I can remember since establishing my own table, I have eaten by candlelight. I find it very soothing and relaxing. My dinners are not made to be guffed down, but to be enjoyed slowly with a glass of wine. It is a time of ritual and conversation.
My sunshine is my spiritual light that I carry to share with others in need of comfort, care and illumination. My day to day energy level can be affected by SAD, but not my interior light which I nourish daily with communing prayer.
The walnut cake is one of my favourites! Hugs